A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY HOME
Hello, reader. I was in an airport the other day, and a man was stopped at TSA for having a bullet on his luggage bag. When asked, he said that the pull on the slider of the zipper broke off, and, being American, he chose to attach a bullet in its stead, and not a paperclip, or a bit of string, or just nothing.
THE BULLET MAN WAS RELEASED FOR TAKE-OFF BUT
I spent most of the flight imagining other things that the Bullet Man may’ve DIY’d and how unfortunate they may’ve been in the TSA environment.
I THOUGHT
I thought, perhaps the toe post on his left flip-flop tore off, so he replaced it with a bit of barbed wire…
BULLET MAN SAT NEXT TO ME AND WATCHED 300
I thought, perhaps the strap on his wristwatch got loose, so he replaced it with a live venomous snake…
BULLET MAN’S WOMAN MEANWHILE SAT A ROW AHEAD AND WATCHED AN AMELIE KNOCK-OFF IN WHICH A QUIRKY HEROINE WEARS A BERET AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH AN ITALIAN MAN WHO HAS A MOTHER
I thought, perhaps his neck pillow got torn and some the fluff spilled out, so he filled it back up with shrapnel…
YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE
I thought, perhaps one of the poles of the extended handle of his suitcase got dislodged, so he replaced it with a rapier…
AND YET YOU CHOSE TWO
I thought, perhaps his sunglasses snapped, so he replaced the broken temples with a pair of daggers…
I could go on.